What your personality style says about you

Two Dimensions of Personality Style
The concept and the basic dimensions of style date back to Jung’s 1914 research. Since then, many researchers have examined personality styles and further developed Jung’s ideas. One clear finding from this research is that the number of styles is not unlimited. Each individual is unique, but there are definite categorical commonalities. In fact, research indicates two basic dimensions of personality style, referred to as assertiveness and expressiveness.

Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the effort that a person makes to influence or control the thoughts or actions of others. People who are assertive tell others how things should be and are task- oriented, active, and confident. People who are less assertive ask others how things should be and are process- oriented, deliberate, and attentive.

Expressiveness
Expressiveness is the effort that a person makes to control his or her emotions when relating to others. People who are expressive display their emotions and are versatile, sociable, and demonstrative. People who are less expressive control their emotions and are focused, independent, and private.

A Model of Personality
Personality style is determined by assertiveness and expressiveness. The vari­ous combinations of the degrees of these two dimensions result in four possible personality styles: Direct, Spirited, Considerate, and Systematic. These styles are the basis of the HRDQ Style Model shown in Figure 1 below.

Figure 1: The HRDQ Style Model

The strength of one’s preference for assertive and expressive behaviors determines one’s dominant personality style.

The Direct Style: High Assertive, Low Expressive

Get Personality on Your Side
Misunderstandings are often a result of personality differences. Although each of us has a predominant personality style that drives our behavior and our communication, we must learn to be flexible so that we can communicate with people whose personality styles differ from our own. The first step is to learn how to identify another person’s style. The second step is to learn how to “flex,” or adjust one’s own behavior to accommodate the tendencies of the other person. While this requires a conscious effort to step outside of your comfort zone, it’s the key to improving communication.

Source: What’s My Communication Style.

Discover the formula for win-win negotiating

Figure 2: The Model of Negotiating Styles

About the Five Characteristic Negotiating Styles

Defeat
A high degree of concern for the outcome combined with a low degree of concern for the relationship results in a Defeat pattern of behavior. These negotiators:

• Drive a hard bargain
• Engage in win-lose competition
• Put personal interests first
• Use threats, bluffs, surprises, and deceit
• Believe there can be only one winner

Withdraw
When there is a low degree of concern for both the outcome and the relationship, a Withdraw style of negotiating style emerges. These negotiators:

• Maintain a low profile
• Avoid confrontational situations
• Take whatever the other person is willing to concede
• Believe others are born negotiators with more power
• Surrender easily

Accommodate
An Accommodate style of negotiating focuses only on building a compatible relationship in the hope that the negotiation will be successful. These negotiators:

• Like to maintain harmony
• Avoid unpleasant confrontations
• Make concessions to further the relationship
• Trust others without reservation
• Yield to pressure to preserve the relationship

Compromise
A moderate degree of concern for both dimensions results in a Compromise negotiating style. These negotiators:

• Agree to split the difference
• Find easy solutions both parties can agree upon
• Give something to get something
• Look for trade-offs
• Believe “you win some, you lose some”

Collaborate
When there’s concern for both the outcome of negotiation and the relationship with the other party, a Collaborate behavior pattern results. These negotiators:

• Form partnerships
• Explore mutual interests and gains
• Yield to principle, not pressure
• Attempt to reach a result based on objective criteria
• Create synergistic solutions to negotiation problems

Which Negotiating Style is Best?
Variations of each of these styles may be appropriate in certain scenarios, and sometimes a negotiator may want to use a specific style for a particular type of negotiation. However, the style that most consistently produces the best results is the Collaborate style. If satisfying mutual needs is of paramount concern to the parties and they can harness problem-solving strategies to satisfy these needs, then both the outcome of the negotiation and the relationship of the parties will benefit.

The Interpersonal Skills of the Collaborative Negotiator
The Model of Negotiating Styles suggests that six specific interpersonal skills can help people move toward the Collaborate style:

• Assertive behavior: Honestly and openly state your own needs while respecting those of the other party.

• Climate building: Strive to work in a mutually supportive, respectful environment.

• Active listening: Make it a point to hear, understand, and respond to what the other person is saying.

• Nonverbal behavior sensitivity: Recognize, interpret, and respond to the other party’s nonverbal behaviors appropriately.

• Using questions to raise receptivity: Ask questions to ensure needs and concerns are brought to the table.

• Confronting and working through differences: Acknowledge differences and use them constructively in the conversation.

As a trainer, you can help individuals develop their negotiating skills through thought, preparation, and skill practice. Applying a win-win framework such as the Model of Negotiating Styles will enable negotiators to focus on the behaviors and strategies that are most likely to produce synergistic outcomes.

Source: Negotiating Style Profile

Figure 5: Factors Affecting Influence Style

Individual Factors

Past Experience
Throughout our lives, we learn which behaviors lead to pos­itive rewards. This learning can take one of three forms: associative learning, reinforcement, or modeling. The more often the behavior leads to a reward, the more likely the individual will choose that behavior.

Attitudes and Beliefs
Attitudes and beliefs work toward assertive behavior if the individual believes that he or she has the right to voice requests, disagreements, and pride. But sometimes, our beliefs and internal messages can work against us, resulting in passive or aggressive styles of behavior.

Self-Confidence
Self-confidence and assertion feed on each other. Self-confi­dence enables assertion, which, in turn, boosts self-confidence. Feelings of inadequacy, on the other hand, prevent assertive behavior.

Situational Factors

Rewards in the Environment
As indi­viduals become socialized in a new work environment, they learn which behaviors lead to rewards such as verbal praise, acceptance, pay, and office space. Although some environments reward aggressive or passive behavior, assertive behavior most often brings the greatest rewards in the long run.

Costs of Influence Style
There are costs associated with each influence style, especially asser­tiveness. It takes time and energy to figure out what solutions will produce positive rewards, and individuals must be willing to make this investment. While it may seem easier to behave passively or aggressively, the long-term costs are greater than the immediate costs of assertive behavior.

Rules and Laws
Organizations and society dictate rules and laws that are intended to guide and protect us. These rules serve to limit negative behaviors and create a safe environment that encourages positive behaviors.

Consequences of influence style and the benefits of an Assertive Influence Style
Assertive behavior has benefits for the individual, team, and organization. On an individual level, people with an assertive influence style are more likely to achieve their goals because they are more expressive and better equipped to make smart choices. And in situations where assertive people don’t attain their goals, they’re able to maintain the confidence that they expressed their views honestly and directly.

Those who behave passively are unlikely to achieve their goals because their influence style is to sit back and avoid expressing thoughts and ideas. Similarly, the hostile behavior of someone with an aggressive influence style usually causes the alienation that inhibits his or her ability to be successful.

When it comes to teams and organizations, assertive behavior is aimed at maximizing the rights of all parties, which leads to a more harmonious win-win environment. There’s open communication, which in turn enhances organizational feedback and informational flow, and there’s little tension in this environment because everyone can trust the opinions being expressed.

On the other hand, passive and aggressive influence styles lead to win-lose outcomes because there is a lack of stability and an imbalance of power. While some may think that these styles yield rewards, they cause greater harm than good over the long haul.

While there are a wide range of factors that affect and shape one’s influence style, it’s important to understand that assertiveness is a skill that can be learned and developed over time, with awareness, practice, and experience.

Source: The Interpersonal Influence Inventory

Q: What is Emotional Intelligence?

A: Let me offer two answers to this seemingly simple question—one for your mind and one that I hope you will feel in your whole self.

First, of all the formal definitions that have been developed and used by those who study and measure Emotional Intelligence, I prefer to use a “committee definition,” which is the result of a survey of experts by EQ Today:

“There is an intelligence based on emotion, and people who have this
capacity are less depressed, healthier, more employable, stronger leaders,
better decision-makers, and have better relationships.”

That is, I believe, a “good enough” definition for a concept that is currently being intensively studied and is increasingly being recognized as important to the success of individuals, teams, and entire organizations.

In my workshops, however, I tell people that I want them to leave the workshop with more than a definition of words. Instead, they gain a mental picture and visceral feel for the meaning and implications of Emotional Intelligence. The picture I suggest is that of an inner GPS. I ask them to imagine using a GPS as it might be used by a pilot, or a hiker, or an automobile driver. The GPS assists you in determining where you are, and it also helps you plot a route toward the goal of your journey. When the external environment presents obstacles—a washed-out bridge or a closed road, for example—or when your internal processes take you off the route, such as making a wrong turn or going too far in one direction, the GPS can help you keep your equanimity and balance to reconfigure your route so that you can be successful in achieving your goal.

Emotional Intelligence can help you cope with both your own internal emotions and the external challenges that arise in the real world of making decisions and interacting with other people.

Q: Why is the topic of Emotional Intelligence important for today’s organizations?

A: We can no longer afford to pretend that emotions are not part of the workplace. In fact, ignoring emotions can result in costly lawsuits, lack of productivity, contentious bargaining, and loss of good employees. But the good news is that we can not only measure emotional intelligence but also learn ways to enhance it. We can improve our skills in managing our emotions, we can learn effective ways to cope with that difficult employee or that insensitive boss, and we can build resilience despite the inevitable stresses and changes in our lives.

Ever since Daniel Goleman’s first book on emotional intelligence was published in 1995, an ever-multiplying number of studies, articles, and books have contributed to our understanding of Emotional Intelligence. Individuals, teams, and organizations that are emotionally intelligent are able to maintain balance amidst inevitable change and to greatly increase their productivity and success.

Q: What is the benefit of developing an emotionally intelligent workforce?

A: For a long time, people behaved as if emotions had no place in the workplace. But emotions are powerful, and they are an inherent part of our actions and interactions in the workplace—the decisions we make, the influence we have in leading a team, the impact we have on customers, the ways in which we interact with those we work with, and the resilience we demonstrate during times of change or crisis.

Being aware of our own emotions and being able to manage them is the foundational skill of Emotional Intelligence. Good self-awareness can help build an awareness of and empathy for others, skills that are crucial in successful interactions—with a boss, with peers, with people who may report to you, and with customers and clients. And that ability to interact successfully with others helps build better and more productive teams, more satisfying relationships within and outside the organization, and greater resilience to help weather the inevitable changes and even crises that occur in the workplace environment.  

About the Author


Dr. Barbara A. Kerr
Dr. Kerr conceived and designed Creating an Emotionally Intelligent World, a computer-based training game for organizational development. She holds a Ph.D. in English from Temple University and is an executive coach who has successfully run her own consulting business for more than twelve years. Dr. Kerr is certified in administering and interpreting the EQ-i, the most scientifically validated assessment of emotional intelligence. Having completed post-graduate training with the College of Executive Coaching, she is a certified Master Personal and Executive Coach. She is the author of several books, including “Read All Your Life” and co-author of “You Can Choose Your Own Life,” a decision-making program for middle-school youngsters.

Learn more about: Creating an Emotionally Intelligent World